7.54pm: New QPR owner Tony Fernandes is waving at the crowd, although he looks like he's got a piece of celery sticking out of his pocket (no doubt that's some charity emblem that I've managed to gravely insult). On the TV Gary Neville is analysing the QPR tunnel, it's smaller than the average tunnel apparently, which makes Loftus Road a tough place to go to. Not that hard for Bolton a couple of weeks back, mind.
1 min: And we're off. In the absence of Joey Barton on Twitter, who's playing a football match tonight apparently, we don't have a clever quote from a dead Victorian (is there any other kind?) to sum up tonight game, but please do provide your own if you have one. The Newcastle fans gave Joey a very good reception.
28 min: QPR crash a shot over the bar, they've been excellent tonight until they've actually had to put the ball into the net. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new Arsenal. Oh, Newcastle clear a shot over the line. This could have been 3-0 by now.
Half-time quotes from your favourite Victorians:
Jonny Mac: "Should Barton want to make peace with Newcastle, he could approach the visiting Manager after the game paraphrasing Admiral Nelson with 'Kiss me Pardy'."
Hugh Collins (not strictly a Victorian but he was nice enough to email in: "I've always wanted to meet a Victorian. I've eaten so many of their sponge cakes, I feel I should at least thank them. Snap!"
Half-time: QPR have had two shots cleared off the line and around 86 shots on target but still haven't managed to score. Barton has been relatively quiet, completely overshadowed by the brilliant Taarabt.
50 min: Bothroyd is caught offside. "Gary Neville should have stopped playing 10 years ago," says Ben Penin. "A wasted broadcasting genius." True, shame he's on Sky and we have to pay to see him. Easily the best pundit on TV at the moment.
Peeep! That's it. QPR had masses of possession and chances in the first-half, and a decent amount of possession and chances in the second-half. Who knows if they'd continued to decline, Newcastle may have eventually had a chance. For the moment though (and I stress for the moment), Newcastle are heading for the Champions League.
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"You know when you wake up, look out of your window and it’s a gloomy, miserable, soaking wet wintery morning? In the road, there are puddles, and dim car lights in miserable queues of traffic lighting up the rain. And there’s a wet, soggy, flaccid dark brown cardboard box. That wet, soggy, flaccid dark brown cardboard box is Michael Owen’s personality"
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